stamina
January 2, 2008
low points. high ideals. 19 demons beckoning me off the path of light. they got fingers pointing every way but up. yesterday returned for a visit. kaleidoscopic vision blurring a flicker of self-destruction. too easy. only a matter of a few dialed numbers, a few steps outside my door. regression like death at my heels. tongue black as a gun. guard your silence like a womb. temperature drops. this bed an ocean of forgetting. 364 nights of solitude. stay empty.
& now this. how it sounds. what should have been comfort, terror. what could have been satisfaction, frustrated desire. the hours pile like chips on a blackjack table. the way years do. never could learn the easy way. instead, bitter & burned. taught. hardened, hawklike, the steel body i step into. jewels to distract from the entrance. a quirk in someone’s calculations.
20 days to the resurrection. the foundation, the frame, the roof of this structure would disintegrate in an instant. every step between the 1st & the 999,999th to be lost with a single act. a word. darkness starving. wilting with each second of quiet. the sentence too high to speak now.
stamina.
© 2008 tahminah zaman
